Mighty Girl’s Advice From Mom – Part Two – With My Commentary As Well……

So, here’s Part One in case you missed it.  And, here’s Mighty Girl’s Part One as well.

So, here’s Mighty Girl’s Part Two

Here we go…..get your belly laughs ready to roll…

Mighty Girl’s MOM (MGM) in black

My Mom (MM) in Red

Me:  in Blue

MGM:  You can’t change people.

MM:  You can’t change people, trust me, I tried, it didn’t work. 

Me:  You can’t change people, trust me, Nanny tried, she’s been married 5 times, I’ve been married 4, you can’t change people.

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MGM:  Learn to type. You can always be a secretary.

MM:  Your dad can type, don’t learn to do anything like him.

Me:  Learn to type, you can always be a secretary.

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MGM:  When someone is drowning, don’t jump in after them. Find a branch.

MM:  Do not get in the water until you learn how to swim.  Spread that word to your friends and you shouldn’t have any problems.

Me:  When someone is drowning, don’t jump in after them.  Find a branch.

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MGM:  Men like it when you ask them to open the jars.

MM:  Never ask a man for anything, get one of those gripper things and do it yourself.

Me:  If a woman asks you to open a jar, make sure you know you can open it, then do it, it will get you big brownie points.

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MGM:  If you’re in a contest, you have to find a way to be different than everyone else.

MM:  Do not compete.  Being competitive is not lady like.

Me:  Kick their ass.

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MGM:  Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.

MM:  Quit crying already, you are the biggest cry baby in the world.  Stop it already.

Me:  Cry if you need to, sometimes, hiding under the covers and having a good cry will make you feel better.

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MGM:  It’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one, Margaret.

MM:  Money, it is just another way of manipulating you, forget about it, be poor like us your whole life.

Me:  Please, get yourself an education and find an educated woman to share your wealth with.

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MGM:  If you ever want a nose job, I’ll pay for it.

MM:  Why would you want a nose job, God gave you a nose, live with it, at least you have one.

Me:  If you ever want a nose job, I’ll pay for it.  Trust me, if you need it, it will boost your confidence 100%, I know from experience.

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MGM:  In a fire, cover your mouth and nose with your T-shirt while you crawl out.

MM:  Stay out of places that are likely to have fires.  You know, cigarettes, they cause fires.  And, those disgusting swanky clubs, fires start there all the time. 

Me:  In a fire, you know, like the one that burned your Nanny’s house down because it was struck by lightening, cover your mouth and your nose with your shirt while you crawl out.

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MGM:  Airplanes are too big to float.

MM:  You have no reason to ever be on an airplane, everything you need is right here in front of you.

Me:  Invent an airplane that will float, you are plenty intelligent enough to do it.

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MGM:  If you ever need birth control, you can go to Planned Parenthood and they’ll tell you what to do. I don’t want to know about it.

MM:  Do not ever let a man near you, no kissing until your are married, as a matter of fact, find the man you are going to marry him and go on one Sunday afternoon date with me, then you can just marry him and I don’t want to hear anything more about it.

Me:  Their is a box in the hall with condoms in it.  We do not keep track of how many are in there and when or where they go.  Just know that they are there.   And, for God’s sake, do not tell your Nanny I told you that.

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