Mom~E~Centric

July 2009

Things I’ve learned about myself…at Blogher of all places No One, absolutely no one would believe this.

“It’s no secret that I was at one time very independent and very responsible.  Apparently I am already suffering from dementia as I have managed to do some of the most warped things at this conference that the responsible 18 year old me would NEVER have done.  No, really, what is really going on?”

Blow Job, I Mean Blow Dryer Did I really talk about Blow Jobs here?

“However, with space limited this trip, I didn’t bring one and I was so dreading the snails pace in which the blow jobs, I mean dryers in hotels handle my limp lifeless hair. “

Setting a Few Goals for Myself in July?  What was I thinking?

In the immediate future (between now and the beginning of 2010):

1. Lost at least 15 pounds, DONE

August 2009

My husband wiped out 21 blogs and got them all back in under 20 minutes Please, do not let him ever do that again.

“what?  how many people do you know that you could wipe out 20 some odd blogs and get them back that fast?”

And me, I replied, “I hope none and I hope I never meet one again…”grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Funniest Homework Reply Now this is hysterical, not that I said that…someone else did when I questioned them…

“nope. I’d rather tell you how many orgasms I had last week than suggest to you how homework should be handled.”

Overheard I love this woman, Beth, The Plus Size Mommy

Me:  Beth, how much do you like?

Beth:  how much do I like what?

Me:  uh?

Beth:  what?  you asked how much do I like…

Me:  yea, and….so how much?

Beth:  how much do I like what?

Laughing takes over the room, tears rolling from my face, gut busting……

Me:  Ok, the word is technically “lack” and the sentence should be “how much do you lack”

Beth:  I like it a lot

Me:  you like what a lot?

Beth:  whatever you are asking me about, I like it

Me:  no now, how much do you lack, how much until you are ready to leave

More hysterical laughing…

Broken Leg, let’s be real here What does he think I am?

“well no, I am cooking, I don’t know why you think I am just sitting at my computer

jumping at your every whim, just there at your disposal”.

The forms of sobriety and using email, twitter, text messages I am soooo good at this kind of stuff…..I try not to but, you know…sometimes, you just have to function on auto pilot.

* conversation with my husband*

Me:  8:05 AM Tthought u nee ehrn they remodeled oj sleep extibg phone was dead vit boys fuxrf that

Boy Genius:  8:07 AM – WTF did you say?  I got none of that.  Lol

Me  8:10 AM:  Thought u knew when they renodeled hey piot in pay art pump – phone was drad & I am sleep texting b/c the? boys fixed fead phone for mm     e

BG 8:11 AM:  Ok.  Well time to wake up

ME 8:17 AM:  No tine o brst jid sillu

He didn’t respond.  Does he think I can read his mind or what?

I have a huge cell phone package that includes email.  And, I pay a monster amount of money for it as well.  So, when introduced to a nice easy piece of technology, I was more than anxious to get my hands on this little device called a Peek.

Go get a Full Review on the Peek at Peek – I Peek Do You written by yours truly  – muah…

And here’s you a code to get one for yourself…

Listen, I’ve been working hard today.  And, if you don’t believe me, Google won’t let me send anymore emails.  They cut me off about 3 AM and then when I got up at 8, I still was not back in the game.  Finally I got back in and I apparently don’t learn very quickly because about 3 PM this afternoon?  I got the whole “look stupid, quit sending so many emails” message and since that time, I’m lost.

I live by my email.  My husband says that I am addicted.  He calls my computer my heart.  He will ask me if I am taking my heart on trips, or “are you taking thumper”.  Get it , thump thump.  He says that too.

I missed the Michael Jackson memorial but I’ve managed to watch almost all of it through CNN and CNN online.  And, for some reason, I return to his daughter Paris’ statement and I sit on my sofa and bawl my eyes out.  It’s been 22 years since my father died and watching her made me feel like I was that little girl.  I was 19 when my dad died not 9 or 11 but it hurt all the same, trust me. 

People can say all they want.  I just have a couple of questions.  Where were all this people that showed up today when Michael was self-distructing.  I know that by all accounts, he was strong willed they say and wouldn’t take no for an answer.  And, I’m sure that’s why more people didn’t alienate their friend in the name of trying to help him.  And secondly, my question of Michael shielding his children’s faces all these years and then today, at his own Memorial Service, they were in plain site and Paris even asked to speak.  I hope they can return to a life of normalcy.  Or a life that’s as normal as it can be when you’ve lost a loved one.

And, finally, I am in a contest on Muffin Top Less and if you haven’t already seen my video entry, you need to go check it out.  You can see my video here.  Now this contest isn’t the kind that I need votes to win.  However, one of the things that the contest sponsors asked for was for someone to show their transparency and if showing you that the seat of my pants could house another person, then I don’t know what transparency is.

You now, transparency is a big deal on blogs these days.  But, the other thing they asked for was for the contestants to prove they are out-going and will promote the Slim Perfect  clothing line.  I forgot that part.

So, for those of you who know me as the “talk-to-much” lady that I am, please leave a comment on one of those posts telling the sponsors that yes, indeed I am a big talker and kind of…..out there….and I love me some attention.  I mean, who wouldn’t love some attention in that little black dress yet hide in the corner when wearing their maternity clothes when their youngest child is already 4.5 years old?

So, please, I’m just askin’…no obligation….

If you are so inclined, you can also tweet something too.  Just use @The_Jerri_Ann and @SlimPerfect in your tweet and not only that, a bloggy buddy has entered too, if you know her @theappleofmyeye and you wanna tweet for her too, that would be perfect…….Thanks in advance….

And, with that you can learn the fate of my casted foot….

Ok, so this is something I’ve wondered about for quite some time.  I know that in the beginning (and I’m not talking Adam and Eve here people) when Email wasn’t a standard form of communication, if someone failed to answer an email for days at a time or in my son’s school’s tradition of NEVER, it wasn’t looked down on that much.  I mean, many people didn’t check email but once or twice a week.

Not me, once it was invented, I was addicted.  So, as we have evolved (and I’m not talking monkey’s here, I’m talking internet evolved), it is really a big deal if you let email pile up in your inbox.  Now, some people don’t seem to be bothered when they open their email account and see 400 messages there.  But, for me, if I have email in my in box that has been opened and even responded to but hasn’t been filed away, it makes me nuts.  So, to say I expect people to answer my emails is an understatement.

And, so I go in search…what is appropriate?  What is the most appropriate way to handle email.  And, the answer I found was consistently this…

Customers send an e-mail because they wish to receive a quick response. If they did not want a quick response they would send a letter or a fax. Therefore, each e-mail should be replied to within at least 24 hours, and preferably within the same working day. If the email is complicated, just send an email back saying that you have received it and that you will get back to them. This will put the customer’s mind at rest and usually customers will then be very patient!

and…

Responding promptly is the courteous thing to do. Don’t let folks wonder if you received the email or are ever going to respond to their communications. Think about how quickly you would return a phone call or voice mail. Email is no different especially considering most onliners have expectations of a faster response since email is received so quickly. Outside of any emergencies such as surgery or lack of connectivity, always respond as soon as you can. If you need more time, longer than 48 hours, to gather your thoughts, simply pop off an email stating you are planning on responding in more detail and when.

Ok, I’m a redneck hillbilly who knows nothing about really major etiquette but it drives me nuts when people don’t even acknowledge that I have sent them an email.  Come on, is it so hard to simply say “hey, I got your email, I”m tied up and I’ll get back with you soon”?  I mean, really come on.

I am so neurotic about it that I have email on my phone which is not necessary.  I know that not everyone seems to be connected at the hip with their computer.  But, if I’m emailing you, chances are I probably have a general idea of your schedule and/or worse, I see you tweeting and/or posting on your blog so I know you’ve been online, but you haven’t answered my email?????? That’s rude.  No wait…THAT’S RUDE!

Yea, I know, the caps were rude too but……..just answer my email already ok?

Thank you very much for your time.

I made he move to this new blog and well basically, I’m getting no comments and no emails.  I never received a ton of comments on the other blog, folks just apted to email me.  But now, nothing, nada, zilch.  Please?  Someone?  Anyone?  Boost my cyber-ego, please?