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That time I packed real efficiently
11
July
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Having never flown before 1991, I found myself in charge of packing my clothes along with my husbands for a trip to Hawaii for 10 days.  Good thing this was back in the day that you didn’t have to pay to check luggage.  Anyway, someone (one of my dads friends who traveled alot) told me the best way to handle packing…..

You see, you iron the clothes really good, starch the heck out of them (not now, now I iron at the hotel but at that time, no iron in the hotel that I remember hearing about).  Then, you get as many plastic bags as you can find and you cut them into single sheets (think Wal-mart bags cut open and laid out flat).  Then, you lay the plastic on the clothes and you roll the highly starched clothes into rolls and you put them in your luggage.  You pack the suitcase as tight as you can so the stuff doesn’t shift around.

I used all my OCD skills and my mad pre-flight packing instructions and I went to work.  And, it worked.  When we arrived in Hawaii our clothes were still crisp and straight and all well to just throw them on and go.

But…you knew there was a but didn’t you?  Otherwise  I wouldn’t be writing this…

So, but…..when we would wear the clothes, we would just toss them in a corner.  And, when we started trying to pack 10 days worth of dirty clothes that were just crumpled up and half-ass folded…..we ran into a small problem…..

You see…I was so efficient, what with my starching and rolling that I had managed to put way more items in the very few pieces of luggage and now…….now they wouldn’t go back.  Hence, a new piece of luggage was purchased and not to bring back a pineapple or a bunch of souvenirs but just to bring back the clothes that had previously fit in said luggage. 

And, with that I am reminded that the lesson I learned in turn taught me another lesson about traveling.  A year later I was headed to the Bahamas with a friend.  We were hitting Ft. Lauderdale, the Bahamas, back to Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, Orlando, Daytona Beach and back to Orlando to fly home.

But having learned my lesson about packing, I had several pieces of luggage.  And my friend had several pieces of luggage.  And that was fine when we got to the airport, checked our baggage at the curb and went on about our business.  But, when we had to collect our baggage in Ft. Lauderdale, ride a shuttle bus to the car rental place and go inside?  Well, we had more luggage than two people could carry.  We had one suitcase that neither of us could even lift. 

We had bags on bags on bags and more bags.  But, you know those folks want a tip and they help.  Fast forward to getting off the cruise ship in the Bahamas and going through customs and catching a ride to our hotel there?  Er….well, we had more items than we could carry.  It was more than a bit hysterical and do you know, not one person offered to help us.  And, hey, we were 2 hot 23 year old chicks in short shorts and no one helped us. 

I try to think how in the world we actually managed but I don’t really know.  I just know that all that moving around,

on plane in Birmingham,

off in Ft. Lauderdale,

shuttle to rental car,

to hotel and unload the car,

re-load car the next day,

return car,

load shuttle to Cruise Ship,

unload at Port

load Shuttle to hotel,

unload bags,

reload bags,

go back through customs,

unload from the boat,

load the shuttle to rental car,

unload at hotel,

re-load car,

drive to Orlando,

unload car,

re-load car,

drive to Daytona Beach,

unload car,

re-load car,

unload at  car rental place,

load onto the shuttle,

unload at the airport in Orlando,

fly home and retrieve luggage again…….

So, trust me, I am a champion packer…actually I might be the dumbest traveler on Earth….so when you see me at Blogher…we’ll discuss how well I manage…but if I am crying…don’t ask.

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We were in the air peoples….and I really don’t like Amusement Parks at all
26
January
Mom~E~Centric

OK, so see, I have this awesome sense of direction, no really, I do.  I’m like a GPS only I talk really loud.  And, the fact that I do not like amusement parks is only the beginning of this tale.  They make me sick.  The rides, they go around and around or they go up and down or upside down and I really don’t like it.  Even your harmless carousel, nope, not me, not happening.  Car sickness comes easy for me.

So, imagine my surprise when I’m watching out the window of my window seat on the plane and…………….I’m watching traffic….getting my bearings on which way is which…..

The pilot says, “we are second in line for take-off…”

I look, we are pointed toward a huge road.  Lovely.  We start to move again and this time, we are making this big right turn.  Now, when I’ve flown before, the pilot would take us to the runway, stop, then we would go……

This guy (or gal) didn’t bother stopping.  I’m almost certain there has to be a stop sign there, right?  Nope, he just kept right on going…accelerating right into the turn…and we were headed straight up!

Next thing I know…we are headed into the air…but…wait….I’m looking at the water, I know where I was on the map earlier …and…we are heading south…and hello…Atlanta is North of here…..

We keep heading south….and more south and more south.  I keep looking out the window while we go up and up and up some more.  I’m almost certain this guy is lost…just like a man…ugh and wouldn’t you know, I’d get a flight with a pilot who was all man and wouldn’t stop for directions.

No, wait, don’t stop.

Ok, so here we are, over this body of water and I can see the land, and I know we are headed south….when all of the sudden…snatch….

We did a u’ey right in the middle of the doggone ocean.  I kid you not, right in the middle of the ocean, bam, we were headed south and now we are headed north…I knew it, I just knew it.

Because we were headed up and now making a huge left turn, I was looking straight down into the most beautiful crystal clear water I have ever seen in my life….

Sidebar:  At that ever precious frisking at security that it took me 3 posts to write, they asked me what flight I was taking.  And, I told them, Flight XXXX to Birmingham.

And, they repeated it, Flight XXXX to Atlanta.  And, I repeated, Flight XXXX to Birmingham.

They gave up.  I was sitting in front of the terminal, all alone, in my wheel chair, (shut.up) when I looked up and saw that the sign said, “Flight XXXX to Atlanta 8:00 AM” and I was like “well duh”…..I can see that woman’s mind turning…..

”…..She said Birmingham but she meant Atlanta, right?  Atlanta?  She said it again, she said Birmingham, but she means Atlanta, right, you do mean Atlanta – no this fruit cake is not giving up, whatever, she’ll find out when she gets there that she’s in Atlanta, not Birmingham”

Yerp, I am an idiot!

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Little Tidbits of Information…I mean, like, Who Knew?
25
January
Mom~E~Centric

Ok, one of the men I didn’t mention in my earlier post regarding my nice night at the airport was….hummmm…he was odd.  As you can imagine, people were exiting the airport until way into the night.  And, some of those folks were dressed to the nines and others….well…let’s just say others look more like me…which isn’t like a nine at all….

Anyway, I’m pounding away on this keyboard when I hear voices.  And, if you remember, it was just me and the two 20-something guys and they had been chatting but I couldn’t hear them, I could merely see their lips moving and heads gesturing.  This voice, this voice was new…so I look up…

And, there stands a man…holding a dog…..like a rat terrier or something, I dunno, I’m not good with dogs.  I over hear one of the guys tell him that they missed their flight, he wished them good luck and no harm, no foul.

He then managed to walk toward me.  Directly toward me.  Why?  He pointed at my large very large foot which had been propped on my large suitcase at one point.  You know, because…..I couldn’t very well check my baggage at that time of the night..even if I had been in the right place.

So, he meanders over to me and says, “What’s your story?” What do you mean, What’s my story?  I look up and this man, and his dog……they looked a lot alike…..

And, to make a long story short, before he walked away, he was begging me to either go home with him and sleep on his sofa (he was going to bring me back before work today, yea okay) or take his dog’s blanket so I could cover up.

UH?

Now, I couldn’t help but ask the question….they let you take the dog on board the plane with you?

He calmly answered, “Yes, with a doctor’s note.”

Ok, so did a crazy man just beg me to go home with him or take his mutts blanket or what?

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Getting Frisked Finally and I just saw the first plane go in the Air…first today that is..
24
January
Mom~E~Centric

Ok, so where was I? Oh yea, the person with droopy pants missing his belt.  Man, folks have left some weird stuff back there at that check point.  But, onward…

So, we finally figure out (not that this matter to the story any, but you know me, I like details or at least giving them) that I would take a one-way flight into Atlanta on Delta and he would drive to Atlanta and pick me up.  Great news uh?  Did I mention that my mom just got home from her sisters yesterday and and and I am not home to see her and my kids spent the night out there and and and I JUST.WANT.MY.MAMMA!

I had already put myself down in the floor next to the plug for the night…the two 20-something dudes could see me so no one would get me and they could see my bags when I had to use the bathroom which incidentally seemed to be way more often than I would have needed to if I had use of both feet.  Anyway, …I’m rambling again…

Finally, around 1 AM a nice uniformed looking man….

(Wait:  did I tell you there was a pilot that sat in front of me for about 2 hours and talked on his cell phone…someone finally picked him up…weird…)

Ok, so around 1 AM a nice uniformed looking older gentleman (security or something another) came by.  He spoke to the 20-something dudes, they told him they missed their flight, he spoke to me and I took the opportunity to explain the whole story…because you know…I like giving details.

He tells me that the only place in the entire airport, in any terminal that is open is the Dunkin Donuts around the corner so it would be a bad idea to try to move to Delta terminal at that hour.  I said ok and figured I’d have to crawl to Delta.

However, somewhere around 5 AM, the nice man came back.  People were starting to mill around.  I had started to shut down my computer when he showed up…good timing.  He told me to sit tight and he would get me someone to “haul” (Ok, he didn’t say haul) me over to the Delta terminal.

And, he did.  And, I got checked in and they proceeded to security with me.  They asked if I could walk through the thingy-ma-jig.  I said, “if I have to I can but…”

The nice lady told me not to worry, I didn’t have to.

She took me over to this other little station where a man was busily hand-patting this man of Asian persuasion and I don’t know why because he didn’t appear to be handicapped or half-way broke or anything.  Then, I look and his Asian co-hort was having her bags inspected.  No kidding, they were taking all of her things out of the bags, laying them on the table and OMG how horrible that would be.

She explains the procedure, she will use the wand, if it picks up anything, she will use the back of her hand…blah blah blah….

She asks if I have anything on me.  I tell her only the nice screws in my back but they had not caused a problem before.  She asks me if I can stand up.  I said, “I can stand and keep weight on other foot, I just can’t go anywhere.”

So, I stand up, I realize I have money (quarters) in my pocket.  I hand them over, the guy who had been pushing my chair (you know, into walls and concrete thing-a-ma-jigs) had to go through security too.  He was waiting on me and not so patiently I might add.  You see, he was suppose to have taken this other lady ahead of me because her flight was before mine but whatever…..his fault not mine….actually probably no one’s fault, just happened.

Ok, here’s where I actually get frisked.  She asked me to hold my arms out to my side.  Now, I am sober and my arms felt like they were going to fall off before that woman finished with that wand.  If I were drunk?  There’s no way.  Anyway, she finally indicated that I could put my arms down and I said something about “feeling like one of those drunk folks on Cops”. She laughed, I laughed.  We laughed and I sat back down.

I am sitting here, anxiously awaiting my flight….in an hour and fifteen minutes…..I sent a text message to my husband telling him to bring a pillow and blankets with him to Atlanta to get me or bring clothes to spend the night…because people…for reals….it’s been a heck of a few days.

Oh, you wanted to hear about the conference?  Oh, I’ll get to that too…..sooner….or later….right now… I have to pee, I can’t walk, I could roll myself  but I have already tried that and I can’t drive this dang thang.  And, then what?  I’m going to be on plane for 2 hours…I certainly do not want to crawl to plane bathroom….I mean…the aisles simply aren’t big enough for my butt….

Ok, more people to watch and I’ll let you know how I work this bathroom visit out…or if I even do….

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Balanced Living…What Does It Feel Like
24
January
Mom~E~Centric

I have to say that as a teenager, I had my social life under control. No really, I mean I didn’t know it at the time, but I had a social calendar and I wasn’t pressed and running all over here and there.  I was organized.  I was doing quite well for someone my age.  I am an only child so my parents basically always talked to me like I was an adult.  So, yea, even if I didn’t know it then, I was pretty stable.

Then, I went to college.  I still did pretty well.  My father had died and left me with enough of a college fund to finish school without working.  So, I just did a few little odd jobs here and there, babysitting and whatever came along.  I played a lot of softball (like over 200 games one summer) and I never seemed to be running around like a crazy woman.

Somewhere between the age of about 24….and the age of 34….I magically lost my mojo.  I mean, yes, I had my first kid at 34 and we all know that throws a crank in even the best laid plans.  But, geeez, couldn’t I just schedule a few maneuvers here and there, go a few places without major breakdowns and forgetting half of what I needed?  Why all of the sudden was this so difficult?

And, just as we were working some sort of normalcy into our life….along comes baby number 2, 10 weeks on bedrest with a 18 month old, 3 herniated disks in my back, a premature baby, a failure to thrive baby, a hysterectomy, back surgery and holy cow we were spiraling out of control and fast.

And, then, then my husband just basically took control.  I’ve mentioned this more than once but in our house, that’s not typically how it is done.  I am the organizer, I am the one who handles all the crisis around here.  But, for a few years there, he had to just get a grip.  We needed some balance in our life.

And, my husband took over.  I’ve slowly taken back all things that don’t require major decision making (which we do together) and he basically sits back and enjoys the ride.  But, as I blogged about my trip to Miami this week, I broke down, I had a broken foot (I broke it while in Miami) and I was sitting on a concrete wall, I couldn’t walk and I couldn’t even think well enough to get a taxi.

I took my shoe off for the first time that day (some 8 hours after the accident), looked down and watched as my foot slowly bafooned up into……a monster.  (A cute little foot, that’s what the flight attendants were still calling it today, 2 days later).  I just cried and cried.  It was a mile walk back to the hotel and I couldn’t even get myself together to get in one of the cabs (there were 5 or 6) sitting there.

Later, I re-gained my composure, made some decisions and went on about my business.  Then, last night, whilst chatting online from the airport, my husband realizes that their was a mistake in my flights and I had missed my flight by 24 hours.  Again, I flipped.  I lost it.  I didn’t think I could handle anymore.

These are exactly the kinds of issues I handle in our relationship on a normal basis.  But as I sat in the floor of an empty airport with my leg elevated on a suitcase, I begin to cry.  He was trying to tell me what to do, who to call, how to handle it.

I begged him, “Please just take care of this one, I’m begging you, I can’t”. He gave me a line about the ticket being in my name and I remember saying, “but Jerri is a universal name, please just call and take care of this”.

And, he did.  I’m home now, bound to the bed and recliner til I can get to the doctor on Monday, but I am not a nervous wreck.  I can make my own decisions.  I can make the decisions for my family.

Yea, we have our mojo (or balance if you will) back…now we can continue on…

“This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network as part of a sweepstakes sponsored by BOCA.”

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