**** This was written after I took a sleeping pill and even edited at one time, so if you are tired of my blabbering, you can skip everything down to the part in red and be done. Of course, it will make me cry, but who cares, I’m typing right now with my eyes closed. But doggone it, this proof reading with my eyes closed is a total crack-hammer.****

You know that three-headed-monster called jealousy, well sometimes it just gets the best of us. In this particular incident, I think it might have sneaked in on me. I couldn’t have gone this year even if I had wanted, but when I kept reading more and more blogs and more and more blogs linked to more and more blogs where people were discussing Blogher (and all but one was positively raving about it), I started to wonder “why not me?”

There were very many obvious reasons why I couldn’t have gone, some apparent moths ago when he daycare started falling apart and I didn’t have an assistant director. That meant 12 and 14 hour days for me almost every day of the week. So, that was the beginning of the why I couldn’t have gone anyway.

Then….

On the Thursday 2 weeks prior to Blogher, I was in the Emergency Room with a kidney stone. On Friday the 18th, I stayed home, moaning because I passed the kidney stone with the first urine sample I gave at the hospital and it cost me $175. By Saturday I was back in the ER with Strep and dudes sucking blood from my arm to check for Mono. By Monday, guess what? Yup, the mono results were back and….yupppers, I have mono. Now, that meant I couldn’t or shouldn’t even go into my own business for fear of spreading this extremely contagious thing. And, the business was getting worse and worse and worse.

Then, the actual weekend of Blogher, I spent 39 out of 48 hours packing up the entire daycare and putting it in storage. That’s right, we never even went to bed on Friday night, just worked straight through. And, trust me, this couldn’t wait, so I couldn’t have gone to Blogher anyway.

Now, talk about the life of the party. I could have started a nationwide epidemic of Mono by simply going to Blogher.

So, my question was asked not to get people all in a tizzy, not to anger anyone, not to be disrespectful but simply to ponder how the lives of the bloggers who now blog for more than just themselves handle it (it being the fame, fortune, more writing gigs, etc whatever it had done to change your life in a physical way, not simply emotionally).

My question was answered by several and my perspective was warped. I certainly understand that very few people Blog at the level of Dooce. But, certainly there is a level of bloggers who blog somewhat like Dooce does or I wouldn’t be seeing them on the Morning Shows or reading posts where someone had a automobile to drive for a period of time simply in the name of blogging about it. (I hope that this discussion hasn’t endangered my status to do reviews for Mom Central because I absolutely adore doing that).

After watching Melissa (SuburbanBliss) on one of the morning shows and then later watching Dooce on something, my husband turned to me and ask the question that I posed to you guys last night. That question was, if someone’s blog became popular or famous because they were writing about their “normal” or “mundane” life, how do they continue to blog about their simple and mundane life when the money they have made from their blog has made their lives anything but simple and mundane like it was when the blog first became famous?

I’ve typed the question so many times trying to use different words to explain the question better that I’m almost cross-eyed. But, the truth is, the question was one that Boy Genius had tethered at me and I when I started reading the Blogher posts, I tossed it out to you guys.

***** You can skip down to the next red section if I am boring you, you know, not boring enough for you to leave…just boring enough to make you wan to jab on eye out and read with the other just because.******

So, let me remind each and everyone of you that I wrote the post last night which means I probably wrote it (and from the looks of the links and how some folks are on their multiple times) AFTER I took a sleeping pill which can produce riot-like behavior because of the things I have the propensity to say and/or do (fell asleep with a cookie hanging out of my mouth – that is not riot material, that was simply something I wanted to tell you.). Secondly, I have Mono, I’m stuck at home, do not feel well enough to do much other than walk to sofa, sit down, surf, get up, go to bed, take a nap, back to sofa, back to bed. Sometimes I read entire posts and sometimes a sentence at the very end will remind me that I had read it previously. Being confused is no fun, trust me. I haven’t been out of the house since Monday until tonight when I forced myself out of the house to go to Walker’s first ever T-ball end-of-the-year party. Let’s just say I’ve had a lot of time on my hands. The problem with that is…Mono causes mental fatigue and confusion, like now, I’m proof-reading this and have seen where I keep telling he same things over and over…like telling you how confused I am. Gawd, this is awful.

Anyway, the mental fatigue and confusion with a sleeping pill produces rambling obnoxious goofball. I’m sure you know the kind I’m talking about *rolling eyes*.

So, the last thing I wanted to add to this is to tell you that, none of this is very important, but I used that mass email and post to get you here so you could see the following:

I know you have never ever seen a photo of a kid holding his first ever T-ball trophy, now have you? So, carry on with your everyday life and remember, there’s a ‘wanna be” sitting on the sidelines, commenting on nearly 50 blogs a day and sometimes she grows 3 heads. So, why not give her a shout out if she comes by your way.

I have read what seems like well over 100 blog posts this week that were strictly about Blogher. Only one came across in a way that made me feel as if it was no fun. We all know that Her Bad Mother is wrote her post with all honesty in her heart. But, she is going through personally difficult time in the first place. As one commenter said, “blogher is what you make of it”.

I appreciate each and every one of you coming here to comment. I realize that some of the people on the list are more popular than others and that some of you don’t even seem to think you are popular at all. And, even those who went to and wrote about Blogher but weren’t on my list, I appreciate your comments as well. When I started making the list of folks I hoped to hear from, I had planned for 10 or so. But, as I started reading blogs, I started following links. And, then I would end up links (pages) away from the person that was already part of my feeder. I’ve added most everyone that I listed here because the writing skills are so fabulous. I may make myself crazy trying to keep reading everyone and I know that sooner or later, some will fall by the wayside as “we” don’t click anymore, but for the most part, I love to hear about other people and their lives. As many have mentioned before and as I’ve explained to others, I read blogs and blog myself because it gives me the opportunity to realize that other people in other parts of the world have problems and have the same parenting issues, or co-worker or employee issues that I do. It is validation that I am normal.

However, I could name at last 15 blogs on that list that I’ve commented on more than 50 times in the last year and a half, and only one has ever taken the time to even say, “hey, thanks for reading/commenting/etc.” And, that, that’s what leads me to believe there is a click, one that exists and if you aren’t part of it, you don’t even get validation that you take the time to read someone’s blog, to comment on someone’s blog. There’s no way to say this without sound mean and hateful, but here goes anyway, if you are so popular (in the blog world) that you can even send a “thanks” to the folks who read and enjoy your writing, then most definitely you are part of one of those clicks that sits across the lunchroom, giggling without even bothering to notice that someone out of your click just complimented you on your new haircut, shoes, outfit.

I’m not sure if that makes any sense at all and I would love to go to Blogher, but like I mentioned earlier, somewhere along the lines of life, I lost my confidence in myself and my ability to socialize without feeling uncomfortable. Yes, a few of you even write about how scared you are, but very few, and mostly because you guys have already been part of a “group” or click for so long. You have nothing to fear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, my thoughts to each of you about your comments. First of all, at this point, only 27 people have taken the time to comment.

Her Bad Mother: The funny thing about your comment regarding Dooce is that when you I was reading the blogs about folks preparing for the first Blogher and people were talking about being nervous and hopping to meet Dooce, my thoughts were like, “what’s the big deal?” I had read her blog for a long time, but I couldn’t understand why anyone was afraid of meeting another human being (see, my socialite skills have fall greatly). Also, I do get free products from Mom Central to review and write about, but I must tell you that there is quite a difference in getting a box of cereal versus a Wii versus a Honda Odyssey. Don’t get me wrong, I love the stuff I get to review because I get to share it with people. I just recently owned a daycare (I closed it a week ago today) and some of the stuff I got from Mom Central I would send around the building for the adults to sample, or I would let one class try a product. I loved getting other people’s opinion as well as my own. Remember, my nature was at one time to be a great socialite. Thanks for taking time to reply, it means a lot and I keep reading your blog and praying for you each day and cheering for you as well.

Meagan Francis: I love that you took the time to respond even if you think you don’t belong on the list. And, being popular does not equal making money. When I was reading blogs I started making a list of links that I had followed and that I felt like were part of the “in” crowd. I made he decision to post the links to certain blogger’s and send the email to certain blogger’s based on the fact that the fact that these blogs in particular showed up on numerous blogs. Over and over I would follow a link and it would send me to the same people. Then, I started following links off of that person’s Blogher post and there I would find myself back to the same blogs over and over. When that happens, that must mean there is a click of people who stick together, right? It doesn’t mean they aren’t nice to other people, but it does mean that when I comment on these blogs, I rarely even bet a response. Thanks for taking a few minutes to respond.

Kyla: As I mentioned to Meagan, I am not necessarily talking about people who make money from their blog, I actually managed to make a buck or two here and there but one blog in particular the amount I make is based on traffic. I agree with you that I write lots of things on my blog that I would never have the nerve to say aloud to someone (like all you blogger’s, hehehe). But, I would always say thank you even if I were intimidated by you, so thanks!

Feral Mom: Again, it isn’t all about making money, it is as much about being in the “click”. If I just had dollar for the products I’ve freely endorsed on my blog (I suffer from anxiety and depression and write about it often, naming the drugs by name), I could afford to host Blogher at my house. Thanks for taking a minute to respond.

Polly: You were probably the most linked to blogger in the 100’s of Blogher posts I read. I am so not kidding. I’ve had a real problem with using the phrase “listen up ladies” or “girls, just get a listen at this” on my blog when I knew I had at least one male reader. It is simply habit. So sorry to offend. And, I will re-iterate that it isn’t all about money. It is about popularity, about being in the “in” crowd, about sitting at the “cool” kids table. I was raised by two men. My mother was a big part of my life. But, when the day was done, I turned off my bedroom light and went to sleep in a home with 2 men. So, I definitely understand seeking a community of folks with “kindred spirits”. Thanks for writing a response and taking time to tell me where you stand. You have definitely been added to my feed reader but at one time, your site was obviously getting slammed so hard, I couldn’t get into it. Honesty, you had to be absolutely the most linked to blogger in the whole conference (of the 100+ blogs I read and followed links out of and read and followed more links).

Antonia Cornwell: Your wallet sounds like mine, but you know what, your popularity is obvious…very very obvious. Thanks for responding.

Supertiff: It is funny that you think you are listed here by accident because you were one of the most linked to blogger’s I found….Money does not equal popularity but the fact is, your recent popularity will probably equal money. Just my thoughts…thanks for responding.

Doodaddy: The “lady” thing cracks me up because it was such a faux Paux where I am bad to use phrases like “you guys” just as easily as I use the “you ladies” phrase. Brevity is definitely not my forte’ either. I am a socialite, I am a talker, my family refers to me as the “story teller” because no matter what someone is talking about, I always have a story that goes with it. And, honestly, that’s why I started this blog. I spend large portions of my day when I am out and about in these deep woods of Alabama saying, “blog fodder” but then I never write about it. Trust me, I see some pretty scary stuff around here. Anyway, you were pretty popular in the “linking to” department with the other “popular” blogger’s. Thanks for coming by and trying to clarify..

Miss Britt I wish I had noted where I followed links from but I am looking at my chicken scratch notes I made and you were referenced by 3 different people and all of those were regarding the fact that you were not at Blogher. See, you were popular by being absent. Now, that’s some pretty big popularity if you ask me. No, honestly, it wasn’t a mistake and if I find the 3 folks linked to you, I’ll send their links your way. Thanks for responding even though you think it was a mistake.

Moosh in Indy: You hit the nail right on the head of my question. This may be confusing, but I’m doing to try to articulate this the best I can. Let’s say in the beginning you spent 3 hours a day on the computer, writing blog posts and reading them. The rest of the day was filled with mundane tasks that sometimes made blog fodder. Then, you mentioned that you got a comment by Jess at Oh, the Joys and then she linked to you and then more people came to read. So, now that you have an increase in readership, you now have to spend 6 hours a day on the computer blogging and reading blogs, etc. That means, someone else has to take care of 3 hours of those mundane tasks you were doing prior to your increase of popularity. Now imagine that you fast forward far enough that you are Dooce. Now you spend an enormous amount of time (I have no clue how much time she spends, she is just the most well-known the best I can tell) on the computer writing posts, reading blogs, researching, learning. So, now who is doing those mundane tasks that you did when you only spent 3 hours a day on the computer? My guess is that you probably have to hire someone to do some of those mundane chores. Thus, your life is no where near the same life you had when you started blogging, right? So, let’s assume that when you were writing/reading 3 hours a day and doing other tasks and chores the rest of the time was normal. And, that the fact you have to spend some much time on writing/reading/researching on-line, traveling to various functions to speak, etc thus hiring someone to handle a lot more of those every-day activities is not normal. My question is or was

“How can someone who got famous by writing about their normal every day life continue to do that when their life is not normal anymore because they are spending all their time writing/reading/et and traveling thus being abnormal?”

And, with that, Moosh in Indy, thanks for commenting!

Chris I am glad you took the time to respond. I thank you for taking a minute to do that. Your blog is one that I read for a long time and most everything you talked about in your blog I could relate to….and then…over time, it has developed to a point where a lot of it seems so way over my head. It seems so way over my financial head, way over my emotional head…..I don’t mean that to sound rude, it simply is one of the reasons I asked the question that I asked. Thanks again for dropping by.

Jenny, Bloggess: Thanks for commenting Jenny and I am getting a big kick out of the folks who start out by saying, “I think I’m on the wrong list” because you (like many of the others who have said that) were linked to so many times I quit putting tick marks by your name on my little scratch pad of who to add to my little list. Apparently you made quite an impression at Blogher and I’ll be very interested to see how much your life changes since Blogher 08. Let me know now, OK?

Jen: I’m glad you giggled, lol, I’ve appreciated each and every one of you for taking time to comment on my blog, you know, for lil ol’ me. I’m just kidding. I truly didn’t mean this to be about money, I think it might be more about “time” as I described above. Thanks for commenting and I hope you have time to read my above comment in orange and see if that clarifies kind of what I meant.

Rita Arens I appreciate you coming by even though you think you don’t fall into the category of popular. But, hopefully my comment above in orange will clarify more what I was trying to ask.

Suebob I spend at least 6 hours a day reading blogs, writing blogs, reading about writing blogs, etc. I have mono right now and can’t do much of anything. My doctor likened me to someone with “maternal challenges” since I am 40 and it is uncommon for 40 year olds (or almost 40) to get mono. It is kicking my arse and I’ve read so many blogs that at one point last night I thought I had read everyone that existed and then…then someone would link to someone and I’d find myself four months back in another blog. I will probably never have the nerve to come to Blogher, maybe it’s my way of keeping my deceased father on his toes, what with all the rolling he has had to do since I’ve been on my own when he died and I was only 19.

Dana I hope my what I tried to express above helps explain a little bit of what I was trying to ask…thanks for coming by and commenting, maybe after you read it, maybe you can help explain it to me better.

Marilyn Thanks for coming by and commenting and I probably left you off by mistake. See, there really are a lot of you guys that are fairly popular. As for Dooce, I know she maybe one of a very few who can blog for a living and only blog but there are plenty of others out there who are being chauffeured across the nation for this TV Show or that one. How can you write about your life as it was when you started your blog and you rarely even put make-up on and now your life includes a make-up artist? That’s kind of where I was going when I asked that. It’s difficult to live the same life and write about the same life from one situation to the next.

Mom101 I really wish you would have taken a minute to answer my question seriously. Your humor is what keeps your readers coming your way, but really, I’m curious if your writing habits are exactly the same now as they were when you started your blog in the beginning.

Heather B.: Thanks for being honest. As many times as you were linked to I am surprised to read that you don’t feel like you have grown into a “big” blogger. Thanks again though for taking time to comment.

Cecily I didn’t think that this post was going to endear me to the “popular” kids that’s why I kept trying to explain that I wasn’t being a smart-alec, I wasn’t being an ass, I am simply curious about it has changed people’s lives yet what’s written is deemed the “same writing I did before I was on TV Shows, etc. At no point did I mean anything rude about it. Just curious after reading so many Blogher posts. If you read about 100 or more of these, you will see where people link to the same people, over and over. If you follow the links even and get 4 or 5 blogs away from the one you started with, you are still seeing links to the same blogger’s. That has to make at least some of them famous thus living a different life than the one they had when they never traveled, or were never interviewed for the local paper never mind a paper like the New York Times, etc. Thanks for coming by and I hope I explained some of my thoughts here and above in the orange.

Rhi Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I get a kick out of you and someone having on the same jacket. I really think that does make it all seem so down to earth, but doesn’t ease my fears of being left to eat and drink alone, lol.

Kyla: I am more than slightly geeky, lol, so geeky that I am afraid to meet you guys in person for real.

Zip n Tizzy The fact that you say “I joined the ad network more for the traffic; and to be part of the Blogher community, than for money” is exactly what I’m talking about. Why must one have a lot of traffic and be part of a certain network to be considered part of the popular group instead of part of the group who are friendless. I tend to comment on 80% of the blogs I read per day and trust me, it is a lot and it is time consuming. Right now I have mono and I can barely get out of bed so it is not a big deal. Prior til now I would comment at night after kids went to bed. Multi-task by reading, commenting, watching TV, convincing children that there are no monsters under their bed, etc. Thanks for commenting here.

Loralee: I’m sorry if I offended. I tried to apologize every time I made a comment that sounded a little “off” to me and might offend. I’ve read pages and pages on nearly every one of the blogs on that list. I mean, I’ve been reading all week since the first set of Blogher posts went up. I have mono, trust me, I have nothing but time on my hands. I have only read the one blog where someone expressed not having a good time. I am going to finish commenting, then I’ll go read the two links you sent and get back with you. Again, I appreciate you commenting and I didn’t mean to make it seem like a bad thing.

Surburban Turmoil What you described is an excellent situation that revolves around basically what I am talking about. Right now you open your laptop, read comments and emails about people who seem to care, then you close the laptop and wipe butts and fold laundry, etc. Is your life any different now than before you had a large number of emails coming in or a smaller readership? And, how would your life change if you were being requested to speak at different engagements here and there and didn’t have time to do the butt wiping and the laundry folding yourself because you simply weren’t at home? See where I’m going with that? Thanks for coming by and maybe that helps explain what I was trying to say.

Y If it means anything, you are the only person on the list of blogs that has ever commented back to me. The only one until now. And, again, famous doesn’t equal money, in this situation, famous equals time spent.

Carmen: Most of the people I encounter have no clue what a blog is. My mom still looks at me and says “uh? a what?”. Either way, people’s lives do change. I can tell you that my own life has changed simply because I now write 3 blogs and not one. I don’t make any money to amount to anything off of them and they receive very little traffic, but it has made my life different. One example that I can think of is this, prior to blogging and making a little bit of gas money or “free” money each month, I was responsible for all the household chores, but now that I can make a dime or 2, my husband gladly does dinner and dishes while I blog. So, that’s kind of what I’m wondering – how is it that if my life went from washing dishes and cooking dinner every day to doing it only 3 or 4 times a week to having someone come in and help me each day so that my husband doesn’t have to do – that my blog fodder is the same in the beginning as it is in the end. Did that make any sense at all?

Cagey Thanks for commenting, but you should be very flattered. If you could see the times folks link to you just to say how great you are and how much they loved hanging out with you, you’d be surprised, I betcha.

Sweetney: I’m not sure what you mean by “nice bait sure, I’ll take it” because there was no bait. I was being sincere when I asked what I asked. And, the very fact that you think I’m setting “bait” says something bout the way you think of me and my blog or other folks who don’t fit into your community (or click or clique). I’ve said many times here that much of what I was asking was not about money, it is/was about experience, change in blog topics due to activities provided you through blogging, etc. Out of all the people who commented, your name is probably one of the ones I’ve been aware of for the longest and look at how you perceived my question to you? It seems to me that you are poking fun and I was very serious. I don’t know why you felt the need to say something seemingly rude back to me. My question was not rude and I apologized over and over even when it sounded a little on the edge simply because I couldn’t come up with a better way to word what I was trying to say. So, with that, I’ll say thanks for stopping by but I’m sorry I wasted your time.

I’m sure there will be more comments, at least I hope so and I’ll do my best to keep up. And, please, don’t be offended, I’m simply curious.

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